Thoughts

It has been 10 months and 3 days since my dad left this earth to be with his maker. I have been through waves of emotions. I am struggling with the fact that he is really gone! I should be rejoicing, but I'm not. I'm stuck! I don't know how to begin this chapter in my life. We do not realize what we had until it is gone from us.
Everyone says it gets easier after you get past all the first's. Does it? I suppose it's a matter of choice to move on with our lives or stay stuck. This is where I really get to thinking.
I think of my own walk with Christ. My dad's was clear! He loved the Lord with all of his heart, mind and soul! He lived each day to it's fullest. I know if he could talk to me right now he would say...LIVE...but I'm not. I'm just here, going through the motions of each day praying tomorrow is better. I suppose I'm getting out of life what i'm putting into it. Don't get me wrong I to love the Lord with all my heart,mind and soul. But does it show?
I guess the bottom line is I don't want to be a lukewarm Christian. I want to shine for Christ. My question to myself is, am I shining for Christ? How I am dealing with my dad's death can be a witness to others. My reactions to everything I do and say can either be a witness for Christ or not a witness for him. I wonder, do others see Christ in me?
I don't know, maybe God is wanting to take me to a new level and that's why I have been thinking a lot about my weaknesses.
I do remember the peace I had as soon as dad passed away. Why am I still struggling? Is it ok to struggle? I guess that's the BIG question for me. I think it's probably normal to feel this way. It's amazing after typing this how much clearer I can think.
My prayer is, I pray I can continue to witness for Christ no matter what is going on in my life! After all, when he is in the center, things do go much smoother. I sure can't go this alone...don't even want to think of the mess I would be in without Christ in my life.
THOUGHTS FOR TODAY: FOCUS ON THINGS I'M THANKFUL FOR...

LOVE

I am currently reading the book "The Love Dare" by Stephen Kendrick & Alex Kendrick. I strongly suggest you pick up a copy. It is under 15.00 at Wal-Mart! I purchased this book because my husband and I watched the movie "Fireproof".

There are challenges each day I must follow. I have found it very hard to follow some days and others go by smoothly. The biggest problem is when there is negative energy around I feed off that and I become negative. Then I fail to do the right things. I'm not making an excuse, just saying when I am faced with stressers it becomes a challenge on a completely different level. Kinda like when satan is not breathing down your neck it's easy to follow Christ. But when he is all over us tempting us we fail if we are depending on ourselves. One of the verse references is (James 1:19) Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. I have been really challenged by this scripture!

This book tells you what love is. The true meaning of love. To truly love you must sacrifice daily! It's work to love someone! I don't want to give out to much information about what the book says because I feel you need to first watch "Fireproof" then purchase "The Love Dare" book.

So far, my favorite quote from this book is this. "Love teaches you how to meet in the middle, to respect and appreciate how your spouse uniquely thinks." This may sound simple, but really it is a huge statement. We live in such a ME world.

I am going to continue to read the book daily and face each challenge with a positive attitude. Praying each day I am able to learn to love the way Jesus loves us. His examples are something my dad demonstrated to me.

Thankful for the husband I have,
Rheta

My Birthday Party

I came across this yesterday, I had it hanging on my frig. Christmas of 08 is not a very good memory for me. My dad died 53 mins after Christmas day. My sister Randi and I attended the church services at the hospital Christmas day. Techs were in dad's room giving him dialysis which meant we couldn't see him during that time. So mom rested and Randi and I went to celebrate Jesus birth. Our dad loved Christmas day for what it truly was! After a few songs were sang I received a call from mom (I kept my phone on, muted of course just in case mom needed us). I quickly went to return her call dad had taken a turn for the worse. That was the end of our celebrating for the day. Dad was having a heart attack and all the family had went home an hour earlier. Many calls had to be made. I never really got to read the story of Jesus that day as I usually do. So today, I am going to celebrate Jesus birth. I know we should do this daily! Anyway, I would like to share the following. If you have never read it, I hope you enjoy it. If you have read it, I'm sure you will enjoy it again. I never get tired of this. And by the way, I did celebrate immediately when my dad passed away because I know he was going to be at Jesus birthday party!

My Birthday Party

As you well know, we are getting closer to my birthday. Every year there is a celebration in my honor and I think that this year the celebration will be repeated. During this time there are many people shopping for gifts, there are many radio announcements, TV commercials,and in every part of the world everyone is talking that my birthday is getting closer.

It is really very nice to know that at least once a year, some people think of me. As you know, the celebration of my birthday began many years ago. At first people seemed to understand and be thankful of all that I did for them, but in these times, no one seems to know the reason for the celebration. Family and friends get together and have a lot of fun, but they don't know the meaning of the celebration.

I remember that last year there was a great feast in my honor. The dinner table was full of delicious foods, pastries, fruits, assorted nuts and chocolates. The decorations were exquisite and there were many, many beautifully wrapped gifts. But, do you want to know something? I wasn't invited. I was the guest of honor and they didn't remember to send me an invitation.

The party was for me, but when that great day came, I was left outside, they closed the door in my face......and I wanted to be with them and share their table. In truth, that didn't surprise me because in the last few years all close their doors to me.

Since I was not invited, I decided to enter the party without making any noise. I went in and stood in a corner. They were all telling jokes and laughing at them even though some of them were on the shady side. They all seemed to be having a great time. To top it all, this big fat man all dressed in red wearing a long white beard entered the room yelling Ho-Ho-Ho! He sat on the sofa and all the children ran to him, saying: " Santa Claus, Santa Claus"...as if the party were in his honor!

At 12 midnight all the people began to hug each other: I extended my arms waiting for someone to hug me and...do you know...no one hugged me.

Suddenly they all began to share gifts. They opened them one by one with great expectation. When all had been opened, I looked to see if, maybe, there was one for me.

What would you feel if on your birthday everybody shared gifts and you did not get one? I then understood that I was unwanted at that party and quietly left.

Every year it gets worse. People only remember to eat and drink, the gifts, the parties and nobody remembers me. I would like this Christmas that you allow me to enter into your life. I would like that you recognize the fact that almost two thousand years ago I came to this world to give my life for you, on the cross, to save you. Today, I only want that you believe this with all your heart.

I want to share something with you. As many didn't invite me to their party, I will have my own celebration, a grandiose party that no one has ever imagined, a spectacular party.

I'm still making the final arrangements. Today I am sending out many invitations and there is an invitation for you. I want to know if you wish to attend and I will make a reservation for you and write your name with golden letters in my great guest book. Only those on the guest list will be invited to the party. Those who don't answer the invitation, will be left outside.

Do you know how you can answer this invitation? It is by realizing you need me, asking me into your heart and then extending the invitation to others who you care for...I'll be waiting for all of you to attend my party this year...See you soon...I love you! ~Jesus

If you know Jesus, Praise God! If you don't, you can answer this invitation now!

In Christ's love,
Rheta

Surrender

I have been thinking a lot about surrendering lately. I find that is such a hard thing to do. To surrender I feel weak. Ever play mercy? I have, oh how I hated to surrender by saying mercy it made me feel weak. In my adult life I find that surrender is not weak at all. To surrender to God I find strength. So how is it we have this misconception at a young age it is showing weakness? I have found when I surrender to God he is in control of my life and great things happen! Have you ever surrender something at the altar and find that you picked it back up? I certainly have. Once in a sermon the pastor shared about a child who had his hand in a cookie jar. He had ahold of the cookie and would not let go for nothing. His hand became stuck and he refused to let go because he wanted that cookie. How many times have we all refused to let go of something in our life? You see surrendering is all about letting go and NOT picking it back up. Now I'm not saying the child coudn't pick the cookie back up. However, had he let go his problem would have been solved. God is waiting to solve all of our problems if we will just simply let go. What is God trying to do in your life and he can't because you won't let go? To surrender to God we are giving him control of every detail in our lives. I myself and working on surrendering. Complete surrender where I don't pick it back, I want to leave it at the feet of Jesus.

As Joshua approached the biggest battle of his life, he encountered God and fell before him and surrendered his plans. It resulted in the victory over Jericho. What battle are you fighting today? Are you ready to totally surrender to God? What are you waiting for? I challenge you to pray to God right now and totally surrender to him. Let go of what you have been hanging onto for so long. Don't let it way you down any longer. Sit back and watch God work once you have been able to let go. Letting go gives you HIS strength. Remember, "I can do all things in Christ which gives me strength." Phil. 4:13.

Missing Dad

I recently lost my father due to complications from strokes. He died 4 yrs ago and they brought him back. He always said, "God brought me back for a reason but I'm not sure why". I know why, he taught me so much the past 4 yrs. I have learned to listen more & try to understand people better. Dad was a great at listening. He found something good in everyone he met and focused on the good in them. He really was a lot like my heavenly father. He set such good examples for me in the last few years. He was such a humble man. During his last 11 days on this ,on his death bed, he praised God. He would raise his hands and say "I love my Jesus". What a witness! I received many cards of encouragement upon his passing. Some from nurses who were touched by his faith. Some Christians, some non-Christians. We never know just when God is going to use us. I remember when he died 4 years ago I flipped completely out. I screamed, hollered, jumped up and down acting like some 2 year old. Then I found out they brought him back. Those memories I am not very proud of. However, upon his passing December 26th, 2009 at 12:53 p.m. I had peace. I had the assurance of knowing he was with Jesus. He was in no more pain, he would never hurt again! The peace I had could have only come from God. It was an amazing experience. Then I begin to think of what I had lost. I would never see his face, speak to him again or hold him again while on this earth. I began sobbing. Sobbing for my loss, for me. I missed him so much and only a few minutes had passed. The next few days were so overwhelming. But with no regrets on my part. God give me 11 days with him. We must have told each other we love you hundreds of times. More than I could count. I rarely and I do mean rarely ever remember us telling each other that. What a gift God give me!!! Missing you so very much dad, I love you!!! your baby daughter.